A friend asks over coffee “How’s work these days?”
This was supposed to be a simple question. But there was a longer pause. There are clearly two versions of the answer. But only one came out.
“It has been a busy week.”
A short, clear and usual answer. But not a complete one.
The version of the answer that didn’t come out was “I don’t think this work feels right anymore.”
It remained silent. Again.
It is not that the words are difficult to find. They have been around for a while, even appearing at odd moments – while half-listening in a meeting, while closing the laptop at the end of the day and while folding laundry at home.
The sentence itself is familiar but saying it to even a trusted friend is not. Because once it is spoken, the conversation might not stop there.
- Are you thinking of leaving?
- So, what do you want instead?
- What are you going to do?
- Are you sure this is not a feeling that’s going to pass?
The questions come quickly, faster than the answers. They are already asking for explanations that you don’t have yet. And even if the questions are gentle, it does not make them easy to answer.
For now, that version of the answer stays where it has been – something you think about, but do not talk about.
There is still work on Monday. There are still bills, plans, routines, people who depend on you. There is still a calendar full of things already agreed to.
So the thought is kept where it was. Not gone. Just not brought into the conversation yet.
What stays instead is the safer version of the conversation. The busy week. The difficult project. The full calendar.
All true enough and easier to talk about than the other version of the answer – the one that is less about this week and more about whether the work still feels right.
And because the safer version is true, it becomes easy to keep using it, even when it is incomplete.
Maybe saying ‘this no longer feels right’ does not have to mean knowing what comes next.
It may simply be an acknowledgement that the question is there. It is not a plan yet and neither a conclusion.
What is one question that might need exploration instead of an answer?
___________
For those moments when something feels off but the next step is still unclear, Getting Oriented: A First Step provides a private space for exploration and start taking action.