You finally have a bit of time for yourself.
It is meant to make some progress on a personal project that matters.
Online resources become the place to start – webinars, courses, research, articles about professional development.
Where do you even begin?
Again. Another bookmark for later.
A brief pause and a look at your saved list that you meant to come back to – but haven’t.
You often think about this list. But the pile keeps growing. Days pass, then weeks or even months and it starts to sit in the background.
Somehow, saving resources for later starts to feel like you’re doing something about it. It makes the voice ‘I should do something about my professional development’ quieter.
But it’s not completely forgotten. It comes back, especially in those moments when there is a bit of time to think. You haven’t started, even though you promised yourself you would. And after a while, even that promise starts to feel less certain.
Most of the time, things feel ok and manageable. Work is on track and responsibilities are taken care of.
Nothing is obviously wrong.
But the discomfort shows up whenever it becomes clear it is being postponed. Again. And you know there hasn’t been meaningful progress in this project.
Questions start to come up:
- Why haven’t I started?
- Why can’t I stay consistent?
- Is it a lack of discipline?
It is not that you haven’t been disciplined before. There’s a clear memory of a recent time when you committed to something and completed it. And the pride that came with completing it despite a busy schedule.
It becomes harder to make sense of it as it gets more confusing. It is not that you can’t do it but the fact that you are not acting on it.
And what begins to feel uncomfortable is not just the lack of action but what this inaction might mean.
- Maybe it is not as important as you say.
- Or this is how things are.
- Or that, even if something matters, you start to doubt whether you’ll follow through.
These thoughts stay with you more than the task itself.
Sometimes, the question is not only about consistency but about what it means to keep postponing something that matters to you.
When you notice this pattern, what feels most uncomfortable about it?
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