When trying to understand myself better, most of my earlier reflections relied heavily on thinking. I would analyze situations, form a narrative about what was happening, and explain to myself why something made sense. And often that felt sufficient.
I still value rational thinking. It gives perspective and structure. But when it comes to understanding ourselves – especially in moments of tension or uncertainty – analysis alone can miss important information.
In my coaching training, I began noticing that gap.
When a coach asked me where I felt something physically – for example, when I said I felt stuck – I used to get annoyed. I remember thinking, “What does that have to do with the situation I am trying to figure out?” I wanted to stay with the logic of the issue.
At first, I couldn’t connect with anything. It felt abstract and unnecessary. But over time, as I practiced paying attention to subtle physical cues, I began to notice patterns. A heaviness in my shoulders. Tightness in my chest.
I remember a time when I was telling myself that I was ‘handling things well’ yet I kept feeling a persistent tightness in my neck whenever I talked about a particular responsibility. Staying with that signal – instead of analyzing it away – helped me realize that I was more stressed and resistant than I had admitted.
My thinking had reframed the situation as manageable. The physical signal told a different story.
That is when I began to understand that these reactions weren’t just random – they were data. Dismissing them meant dismissing information about what was really going on for me.
This doesn’t replace thinking. It expands it.
I found that my understanding became more honest when I considered both my thoughts and the physical signals that accompanied them.
This is still an ongoing practice.
When you find yourself overthinking a situation, what have you noticed about how it registers physically?
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If you’re curious how this is approached at Memmar, Exploring Thoughts and Feelings offers a short overview.